Life is like a hurricane


What would Scrooge McDuck do in a recession? If the struggling masses caught wind of his giant bank vault of coins, sceptres and cocaine, would that be the end of this frugal water foul?

Would embittered packs of Duckburg’s hard working but penniless men and women beat down his door and advance on the vault in a rush of empowered anger?

“This is it, the downfall of the upper classes” thinks the jobless philosophy student who realised his days at university were a waste of everyone’s time, as the redundant video rental store worker behind him snaps Dewy’s neck with a crowbar.

Huey gets it next – a time ravaged one-time owner of an ice cream van drives his letter opener through the duckling’s heart – the very same letter opener he used to open his notice of redundancy five years earlier. “It’s payback time”, he shouts as he lands the fatal blow.

It’s all getting out of control once the mob gets to Scrooge’s vault. The elderly entrepreneur takes one last look at his riches and sheds a tear of regret. What happiness has this money truly brought him?

The last surviving nephew, Luey, huddles up to his grandad and remembers all of the wacky adventures they had together as the baying masses finally break the seal of the vault. They then begin flooding in to pocket as much as they can before the riot police show up.

Would the mob really go through with robbing a man/duck of his most prized treasure – his life – just for being greedier and better off than everyone else?

No of course not, that’d be stupid. It’s just a harmless cartoon for kids :/

But some of you were really picturing the scene weren’t you?

Or is it just that these days, some of us tend to view anyone who is rich – aside from celebrities who exist purely for our amusement so it’s ok that they earn more than small countries – as a villain of some kind, even if they earned it through blood, sweat and tears?

Money makes people crazy sometimes, myself included, as I’ve never had much of it. But over the years I’ve realised, you know what? That’s OK. Sure, it helps, but now I just think, ‘what’s the point in stressing over something I don’t have?’

Plus, Ducktales on NES rules. How sweet was the moon level music?

(Apologies for killing off the Ducktales nephews in this post just to set a scene, I realise that it was a tad brutal, oops)


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